If you were wondering how Michael Cornacchia (The Cornfather’s real-life counterpart) lost over sixty pounds, one of his secrets is revealed above, in that second panel. Basically he puts mustard and hot sauce on everything. Salads, eggs, cereal (okay, maybe not cereal), you name it – mustard and hot sauce together are his toppings of choice. Needless to say, I, like jefbot, am not a fan. I’ll stay on the treadmill a half hour longer just so I can keep blue cheese or ranch on my lettuce. And my french fries.

If you’re new to this webcomic, see why jefbot doesn’t consider the matter “even” by checking out the previous strip here.