It’s true: I can’t burp. I’ve been acutely aware of this deficiency ever since I was a kid, watching my friends down Cokes while letting off huge, belching thunderclaps. Everyone else in my family can burp, which my sisters have made painfully obvious at almost every family dinner, yet my throat has been silenced, for reasons unknown.
Is anyone else out there burpless? Have any of you been burpless and overcome it? How fun is burping? I demand answers!!!
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Yes, it’s also true that rats can’t burp. Find out why by clicking here.
yay! I’m first to comment! My friend’s ex-boyfriend did not have the gift of the burp. However, he taught himself somehow, so… where there’s a will, there’s a way. Maybe we could arrange for a class. xoxo Mary
sign me up, Mary!
How have you not exploded yet?
I like Corns expression in the third panel. 🙂
if i drink a lot of soda or beer, believe me, it feels like i’m going to explode.
To learn to burp, just drink something gassy, then tence your stomach and pull it in untill you burp. The more you tence the greater the pressure in your stomache, eventually it should force it’s way out in a burp (or if you go to far you will vomit but at least you will know you are getting close)
i’ve tried doing this many times in the past, Kylej64, but to no avail. came close to vomiting a couple times doing it, too. 😛
Jefbot, I find myself seriously concerned. As Mr. Mojo asked, how have you not exploded yet? the only conclusion i can come to is this: all of that gas has to go somewhere, and if you’re not burping, well, there’s only one other way that it comes out. eeew.
to your health, sir. [takes giant swig of orange soda]
BUUUUURRRPP!!!
heheh. yes, thankfully, i don’t have a problem with gas coming out *ahem* that way, otherwise, i think i would explode, Jed!!!
OMG! Gross and so funny all at the same time! Love the last frame! Great artwork… P. S. it’s a shame you can’t burp… it feels so good!
burping “feels so good”!? now you’re just teasing me, Funnyshaffer!
So funny…yet so sad at the same time.
yes, but unfortunately, so true, as well.
That belch makes me miss my sister! Ahhhhhh family!!!
ha! yes, i also know the sound of both my sisters’ belches well.
Makes me wonder if you are suffering from a chronic spasm of the lower esophageal sphincter…
ugh, i hope not. that doesn’t sound good, DrGaellon. 🙁
on sunday i’m going to eat tuna, peanut butter and eggs and then, and then, and then, more good times!!!
did i mention i’m probably not going to be able to make it on sunday? but i’m sure the rest of the family will enjoy your “good times”!
Can’t burp? Well, the gas has got to go somewhere… I await the sequel: JeffBot farts.
i haven’t done any fart jokes yet in JEFbot, Stan – this may be my opportunity!
my husband taught me how last year. i still cannot burp on command, but now, if i need to i can, yay!
wow, this gives me hope, Anonymous!!!
Surely you burp involuntarily. I can’t do it “on purpose” either (although my wife can like a champ), but I do burp.
i don’t even burp involuntarily, kfreeman13! it’s like there’s a barrier stopping any air from getting out.
… still can’t believe it, you must have forgotten how… maybe it’s because you never get enough sleep!:(
if that’s the reason, i haven’t gotten enough sleep since before i can remember! comforting to think i could burp when i was a baby, though… 🙂
Jefbot-san,
I feel a challenge in this information. I feel it is now my mission to make you belch. This will either kill you or succeed in your esophageal expulsion of gas. Let me know when you’re ready to begin your training.
i am more than ready to begin the training, eleventeen-san. teach me the secret of esophageal expulsion!!!
Fantastic, bot! I love the last panel. It’s true, folks. Our Jefbot cannot burp. I’ve hung out with him on many occasions and tried to teach him to burp. That’s why, when we’re out to eat, I have to burp for both of us. 😀
hmmm, but that doesn’t explain why you fart for both of us, too.
Wow I can’t imagine not having the ability to burp on command. I take great pride in my burping ability. At college I used to be able to burp IN my dorm room and it would reverberate down the hall and people would stick their heads out (all male dorm BTW) and say things like NICE and gross at the same time. 🙂 Lets just say if it doesn’t make people go gross then it’s not loud enough.
sounds like good times, Ploute, but i’d be satisfied with just being able to do a tiny, quiet one every so often.
to burp on commnd i just swallow my breath (if that makes sense) and it just comes put again as a burp. try that 😛
tried it before but just tried it again. now my throat just feels weird, alex. what now?
I’m burpless. 🙂
welcome to the club, Uncle M.
I too am a burpless wonder…however due to the need for release of compounding gasses my body expels what my burpless father calls ‘airy-urps’, instead…gotta love nature! 🙂
you gotta show me, kelleebelle! airy-urps are better than no urps!
So glad to know Michael can burp for the both of you!
yeah, actually, he probably burps enough for 3 or 4 people! unfortunately, it doesn’t really help my situation…
I used to be burpless, but now if I eat or drink certain things (apples and tea) I do burp. But I can’t do it on command and most of the time I do these weird inward burps. I feel I’m missing out as my boyfriend could burp for England.
i eat apples and drink tea all the time, Liz! and i’ve gotten weird hiccups when i’ve had too much to drink, but they’re painful and just make the pressure worse.
OMG, did someone have to teach you to fart too?
nope. all good in that department, someone! 🙂
I didn’t use to be able to whistle. during the last year it just sort of… hpappened.
I too would recommend just downing an unimaignable anount of soda at once.
what’s weird is that i can only whistle sucking air in, Tomix. and not very loudly, at that. thanks for the suggestion but downing a bunch of soda just results in pain.
I don’t believe there are others like you and I don’t think you need to take a class. The last panel’s hysterical and I felt the reverb.
i’m actually surprised and comforted by all the comments and emails i’ve gotten from people who are as burpless as i am, Lor!
Burping, fun? What the?! I’ll tell you this, jefbot… be grateful you aren’t any of my brothers if you ever learn how to burp and you would have been my mom’s favorite son if you were hers. In my family burping is considered very RUDE. To the point that my mom personally disable my dad and brothers’ burping abilities very early in their lives with her XD Mom says is disgusting and she will never tolerate anyone who does it in her presence XD I’ve been lucky. I can’t burp either 🙂
yeah, my mom doesn’t really approve of all the burping being done by my sisters during dinnertime either, Sonitan, but i think she’s given up that battle at this point. does not being able to burp cause you pain or discomfort at times, too?
My friend cannot burb either, she hiccups instead. I though she was just weird, but I guess it is a real deficiency.
yes, we that are burp-challenged should be given special consideration, IamCow. you should apologize to your friend and beg her forgiveness for thinking her weird.
From what I’m reading it’s a problem with your LES (Lower esophageal sphincter). Basically it’s a muscle/flap that keeps stuff from your stomach going into your lungs. If you’ve had problems with heartburn most your life this may be why. Also because of this you may have damage in your lungs. I would look into this as it seems it can very serious.
i really haven’t ever had a problem with heartburn, Ploute. but there’s gotta be something wrong with the flap since it’s not letting any air up. “damage in your lungs”!? that’s it – i’ll be bringing this up again at my next physical at the end of the month. last time i mentioned it to my doctor, he just kind of laughed it off. i think he thought i was kidding.
You can’t burp? o.o?? Weird xD
yeah, it sucks.
You are not missing anything. Think of it as a plus –
“you will always be the polite one”.
but i want the choice to be rude, AK! right now i’m just mandatorily polite!
You need to go on a burping training course.
Hmm… that’s something I could provide. 🙂
Once you learn the art of gastric expulsion you will know the joy of many.
Ah, eleventeen already has the patent!! ><
i need all the help i can get, Mr Mojo, so i’m down for the training course whenever you are. 🙂
Now that I think about it, burping is kind of weird. Or maybe I am. Anyway, it’s like something in your stomach triggers the whole process, like carbonation or swallowing air as you eat. If there’s too much air and you burp, it does feel better. It’s the release of pressure. Although you can burp stuff up too. Not fun. My grandmother, tiny as she is, can give some impressives belches. She probably wishes she could be burpless. And here’s a fun fact: Chickens can burp either!
ha! i’d love to see your grandmother burp. you should definitely videotape that and put it on youtube, Rahnee! and i didn’t know that about chickens. cue music and animation again for: “the more you know!”
r u saying my little bro is a chicken???
No!!
no worries, Rahnee, i appreciated the trivia! xinda’s just very protective of the family.
…how did I ever miss that you answered me?
I can burb… involuntarily only, not on command. But I can’t whistle at all!
Ack, where’s the stupid edit key? That was supposed to be burp.
Can I blame the fact that I just got off a 10 hr shift teaching people how to do things like copy & paste, or use a mouse? Yeah… gotta love tech support…
i can only whistle sucking air in, Shay! also: i work full time developing training programs, so i completely understand how your brain can go to mush when sitting in front of a computer doing that stuff for hours on end. it’s why i have JEFbot – the writing and drawing recharges me. hope you have an outlet, too.
i, too, can only whistle while inhaling
Burping is fan-freakin’-tastic! Especially when you’ve got heartburn and you’ve just swallowed a gallon of water & baking soda solution (okay, maybe not a whole gallon…)
if i swallowed a gallon of a water and baking soda solution, i would literally burst into a million pieces, BenPanced. actually, first, i’d finally let out the world’s largest burp ever, be happy, then explode.
ok don’t think i can solve the mystery of the missing burp but this has to the the record for comments on one strip
seriously, alex! i didn’t realize the topic of burplessness would strike such a chord!
i learn so much about you from your drawings. just like a psychologist.
the JEFbot strips are the little rorschach blots of my soul, g.
Wow! I thought I was the only one! My husband doesn’t believe me.
And I was born in the Year of the Rat too! Weird.
you’re a rat, too, Julie? maybe i’m onto something here. alert the New England Journal of Medicine! hope you forced your husband to read this strip and then pointed at the monitor and shouted, “see!? SEE!!!???” 😉
burping is the ultimate pleasure in the universe. thats why most people hate you burping.
“the ultimate pleasure in the universe”!!!??? why do you tease me so, JefbotFan@#300!?
I remember those burps….too bad they were my cousin Amber’s burps. I could never quite keep up with her
from all the feedback i’ve been getting from this storyline (not to mention having two sisters and girlfriends), i’ve come to the conclusion that the ladies are just as good at burping (if not more so!) than the dudes.
I’ve never been able to burp, but I can kinda gurgle if I constrict my chest muscles or take a really deep breath. At night when I try to sleep little gurgles work themselves up every 3 breaths or so, it’s very irritating. Mostly I just keep the mylanta handy. I find the antacid plus anti-gas ones work the best.
One of my ex-boyfriends (formerly known as The Ex) doesn’t burp. Not sure if he CAN’T or just doesn’t. I’m sure that since he cannot burp he just farts an abnormal amount.
I take great pride in the fact that I can now burp on command… although when I do, it takes a while for me to be able to stop.
DID HE BREAK THE DAMN SOUND BARRIER!
You cannot belch. You, however, may need practice burping.
Burps are to regurgitation as belches are to vomiting.
Drink some soda, then practice by relaxing your chest while laying on your back.
Patience, young padawan. You cannot force the force.
My sister can’t burp either. Never has. She’s chinese; maybe it’s an asian thing?? (But she was born under the dragon) I’m sorry you can’t! Burping is a delightful outlet for me. I’ve been gifted the ability to burp on command as well as like a sailor when drinking soda or something. I hope you develop this ability soon or find an equal oulet.
i was born in the year of the rat and i can burp all the time
you just dont concentrate on burping(if it needs to come it will
I on command. It appears I stole your burps. If you were born in ’84, that is… If you were born in ’72, I can’t be held responsible.
I on command… that sounds like the new “I accidentally the whole …” meme. Anyway. What I meant to say was that I can burp on command.
I used to think I was alone in that! Until I was 17, I too was incapable of burping. Instead, I’d get this weird block in my throat, almost like a big air bubble stuck in there that made it hard to swallow. It’d stick around for a couple hours, or even days, and then disappear. But somehow, after I turned 17, I just… magically gained the ability to burp. I couldn’t tell you how it happened, but I wish I knew.
Anyway, if this problem ever miraculously clears up for you, you will then always have an excuse for letting out huge, disgustingly loud burps in public: “I couldn’t burp for YEARS! Do you have any idea how much catching up I have to do?!”
Oh, and for the record, I am neither a rat baby nor Asian.
hehehe, I can’t burp either! It’s a good thing tho, it means that you’re better at swallowing then most people; you’re not taking in a lot of air when you bring down food. It could also be attributed to a thin throat passage. Either way, not a bad thing. 🙂
I’m a girl….I LOOOOOVE burping cause its just….cathartic, I suppose? anyways…when I was in 8th grade- my friends (mostly guys) and I would have burping contests, and I’d always win *_*
have you tried chugging club soda all at once while swallowing air? it works for most people ^^
YOU TOO!?!
Finally *sniff* I’m not alone. I’ve never been able to burp and always get so damn bloated if I drink soda.
I too cannot burp
I was born in teh year of the Rat, and I can burp! I can’t vomit though, (even though I’ve tried) without being violently sick, so maybe there’s something about us Rats 😉 My dad mind you, can burp on demand. *jealous*
Like your grandmother, I’m small, and my b/f is quite impressed (or maybe just blown away?) with the burps I can let go *proud*
Burping is a wonderful sensation and I’m sorry you can’t experience it. When you do it feels like your stomach shrinks to half its size because of all the released pressure. Doesn’t always taste good tough. I wonder if people born in the year of the Cock have burping difficulties as well? I don’t think birds can burp…
When my sister had surgery for acid reflux disease she lost her ability to burp and vomit as a side effect. Then she got Norwalk! She eventually did vomit but she tore something in her esophagus when she did so. They were able to fix it though, and now she has her “abilities” back.
So maybe if you got violently ill you would like stretch out your esophagus or something and then be able to burp. lol 😀
BTW been reading your archives and really liking everything so far.
Haha! I’m reading your comics for the first time now, and this made me laugh until I cried. I thought I was the only person who can’t burp! If you do see this comment, have you learned how to burp since this was published? I think I can’t burp because it feels like the same mechanism as vomiting to me, and I’ll do anything in my power to not vomit.
I can’t really burp/belch. If I have excess gas pressure in my stomach, it slowly leaks up my throat, making strange growling noises on the way. Once this starts, it usually goes on for quite a while. I can do it “on command” if I open my mouth and tense my stomach muscles, but I just can’t summon a proper burp.
Oh my god. I’m not alone.
I thought it was just me!
Thank you!
I can sooo belch like Michael!!! And I am girl. Mt.Dew really helps. XD
If you’re unable to burp, even involuntarily, you really shouldn’t gas yourself up with soda or baking soda or whatever people are recommending. There are a few medical conditions that can cause an inability to burp, and if you have one of these then all swallowing air will do is make you bloated.